While Ana's call has been turned down to a alluring whisper in the back of my mind, Mia has jumped to the plate, constantly belting out her sirens call. To divulge further, I have been on her erratic regime of at least two binge/purge episodes a day.
It just sometimes feels like, I'd rather of not slipped into this abyss of a rabbit hole. My enamel is deteriorating, I get a high of being dizzy, and the sadistic duo, Miana, is bleeding me dry. I know what kind of net I've been trapped in, but the thing is...I don't want to escape. I suppose that makes me sound like a masochist. :/
I am so very tired of pretending I'm fine. Let's be honest, it really is the biggest lie in the world to say "I'm fine/ok." And yet, I can't display my genuine emotions for fear of drawing attention to myself. Goodness...I just...want to experience my cycle of masochism & sadism alone. I think that says it all there...Miana is a routine S & M tyrant.
For all those out there reading, I do believe this is my return. I am home.
~Noi
