Substituting Sex for Food

I think I have stumbled upon the most brilliant idea ever...why should I bother eating when I can, instead, indulge in physical pleasure? Not only is it a great distraction but, a roll in the sack burns calories.

Kissing burns 68 calories per hour.
Undressing burns 10 calories.
Massaging burns 80+ calories per hour.
Sex burns 288+ calories per half hour.
Giving oral sex burns 100+ calories per half hour.
Feeling up/touching burns 100 calories per hour.
Making out burns 238 calories per half hour.

Sexual acts also release a tons of chemicals in the brain, that can suppress the appetite and create a greater sense of euphoria (a natural high)--such as prolactin, oxytocin, endorphins, dopamine, adrenaline, seratonin, and phenylethylamine.

Incidently, I am a virgin...but I already have decided on a fellow to play with (check last post). I cannot even begin to express how exciting this new world seems to me, as I am quite the natural. I have no doubt in the least that I won't turn into a nympho after the whole fiasco, as the guy is terribly knowledgeable (no qualms sharing either). While it still feels as if I should care that I am to lose my v-card as "the mistress" in an affair, it honestly does not bother me (I'm sure I just pissed off the entire female race with that point).


Playing with fire has never been more fun,
                                                   ~Noi