Boys are Stupid

Hi. It's been a while, everyone...I believe last time I wrote life was being seen in a brighter light. That's not the case now. The boy that I was so indefinitely ecstatic about--well, he had his fun, I started liking him, and...then life came crashing down. After a week of enjoying each others company, I felt like he was solely seeing me as booty call so, I had sex with another boy to spite him. I know, I know....I'm such an incessant twat. I lost my virginity to another to spite a guy I was slowly falling for. Stupid girl, why do people bother getting emotionally attached? I hate it, especially since I'm so emotionally damaged that I never make mistakes in the quarrels of love--but I let down those walls because there was a trust between us (I'm quite gifted at reading people and sorting out those who are not genuine).

His girlfriend is coming over for the Mac Miller concert this weekend. I'm happy that he has someone he has found love with but, I can't help my feelings from growing. I want to be platonic with him; cut out the complexity because I do enjoy him as a person but, I know this is all going to be very difficult. I'm never going to be good enough to deserve love, will I? It can never exist in my world.

This hurts...this really, really hurts....


Help me,                   
           ~Noi

Substituting Sex for Food

I think I have stumbled upon the most brilliant idea ever...why should I bother eating when I can, instead, indulge in physical pleasure? Not only is it a great distraction but, a roll in the sack burns calories.

Kissing burns 68 calories per hour.
Undressing burns 10 calories.
Massaging burns 80+ calories per hour.
Sex burns 288+ calories per half hour.
Giving oral sex burns 100+ calories per half hour.
Feeling up/touching burns 100 calories per hour.
Making out burns 238 calories per half hour.

Sexual acts also release a tons of chemicals in the brain, that can suppress the appetite and create a greater sense of euphoria (a natural high)--such as prolactin, oxytocin, endorphins, dopamine, adrenaline, seratonin, and phenylethylamine.

Incidently, I am a virgin...but I already have decided on a fellow to play with (check last post). I cannot even begin to express how exciting this new world seems to me, as I am quite the natural. I have no doubt in the least that I won't turn into a nympho after the whole fiasco, as the guy is terribly knowledgeable (no qualms sharing either). While it still feels as if I should care that I am to lose my v-card as "the mistress" in an affair, it honestly does not bother me (I'm sure I just pissed off the entire female race with that point).


Playing with fire has never been more fun,
                                                   ~Noi