Here's how it works for me...I stick to an extremely low calorie liquid diet (think crystal light and diet snapple). However, there are moments when I want the sensation of chewing solids so...in this case, I either retreat into solitude, where I can chew and spit without judgement or I eat but, I purge immediately until I see the first thing I've swallowed. In the case of purging, I know I can get just about everything out (the lovely feeling of a flat tummy and hollow spot between my ribs tells me when I am empty) but, for the remaining bits and pieces that I can simply not remove, I pop some lax and 6 hours later I feel beautifully empty again.
I must say, this system is really working for me; my bones jut out without me lying flat on my back and the gap between my thighs has noticeably grown. I am so happy with my progress, I really really am ecstatic. In the case of the energy boost I need from lack of food, I have some caffeine pills or I chug a sugar-free energy drink (only 20 calories at most in a can!!).
The blue in my nails has also returned, along with the prolonged feeling of being cold. This is great! I'd say, if anything at all, the heartbroken feeling I experienced with the boy two posts ago was the perfect motivation to get back in the groove of things. It gave me a creepy déjà vu of 2010 when I started starving to perfection to spite another boy whom had bruised, not broken, my heart. I mean, if you think about it, isn't improving your appearance the best revenge? In my mind, it sure beats emotionally eating your way to a disgusting gluttonous mess. I admit, yes, I am emotionally damaged but, there's no way I'm going to let that stop me from embracing the Ana/Mia lifestyle.
Find what works for you,
~Noi
