Showing posts with label people. Show all posts
Showing posts with label people. Show all posts

Wednesday, January 11, 2012

Deteriorating Purity


People can't know
                  About this  C r e a t u r e  hidden inside.


                                                                                 With a pout that locks It  in,
                                       It  peeks out at the world through pools of  G r e y  ,
                     It  glares and gleams,
The pernicious  M i n x 
              Has only  H a v o c  on It's  agenda.


                           Tearing from loose threads,
                                                       It  paces in the mind;
                                                                                     Its  claws gashing  I n s i d e  ,


A masochistic twitch coagulating in Its  being.
                                          The flinting flock of  I n n e r  P e a c e
                   Is left  V i c t i m  to Its  insatiable  H u n g e r  .


                                                                Crimson dribbles over untainted  I n n o c e n c e 
                                As It  sadistically takes  S i n f u l  P l e a s u r e  in
C o r r u p t i o n  from the inside out.


                                                     The prison grows  F r a g i l e  ,
                                                                            Teeth chewing and rouge smearing,

          The  E n d  draws nearer.


                                                                       The  B e a s t  grins in Its  own  M a d n e s s  .
                          Hissing  L i e  after  L i e  as the lips part.


Bones jut out and pinching becomes a  R i t u a l  . . .
                                                                   Silence settles.


         Remaining  W i l l  P o w e r  is consumed and
                                               Cold, salty morose over flows  G r e y  windows;
                                                         The  S o u l  once trapped with the  M o n s t e r
                                  Fading into  N o t h i n g n e s s  .


The  H o l l o w  domain can no longer cage the  S e c r e t  ,

                                                           As the  T r u t h  is blatant and  R e a l i t y  is harsh.


Monday, October 24, 2011

Déjà Vu Trigger

In the autumn of 2010, I was starting to diet...cutting back on breads and sweets and leaning more towards a healthy lifestyle (although I was still an omnivore). I was still eating then but....this changed one day. I had brought a traditional korean to school called bibimbap. Basically, it was a bunch of spicy vegetables on top of rice with an egg and kimchi (see picture).

Now, I LOVED this dish so very much but, I did not have time to eat it during my lunch mod since, I'm usually in the library finishing work then. What else could I do in this situation except, eat in another mod. So I started nibbling a bit on it before gym class began. As I'm sitting there enjoying my meal, I hear a couple comments, "Ew, what's that smell?", "Ugh!! What is she eating?", "It looks disgusting." I set my chopsticks down almost immediately, roughly throwing my food into my bag and never touching it again.

I hate people's comments; they don't even realize how much it impacts me.

Same thing happened today, I was steaming veggies in my dorm when a couple comments chide from in the hallway, "Ew, what's that smell?", "This whole hall stinks. It smells like something's rotting.", "I think it's coming from that dorm..."

It went over pretty harshly, I didn't eat anything today and that was to be my meal but...I suppose that just reinforces Ana's will.

Find your triggers and use them,
                     ~Noi