Rejection from the Inside

I think I have finally reached the point where my body just won't accept any breads/grains/carbs. Earlier, I was in a cooking mood; my plan was to cook for everyone else and to fast for the day. I made it to nine o'clock pm before I felt like I should eat something so, I made blueberry pancakes.

 I was picking at them while some were still in the pan but, I didn't feel much like eating the entire batch (which I probably would as a bulimic). Instead, I threw them away and rushed to the bathroom, throwing them up unintended. Only a clear, purple liquid came out, no solids, and I spent the rest of the night feeling thoroughly nauseous and shaky--of coarse, not eating anything else.

I suppose this is good in the long run but, I hate feeling ill. If anything, this rejection ordeal has completely broken whatever spirit I had left to eat "normally." Back to Ana's cold embrace from here...


To gain control is to lose weight,
                                       ~Noi

                               

Gaga Goes Gaunt

MTV likes to throw on strings of videos from the same artists now and again; while watching one of these slews featuring Lady Gaga it suddenly dawned on me...a dramatic amount of weight was lost from the beginning of her career to today. Comparing "Poker Face" Gaga to the tinier version in her "Born This Way" music video got me questioning how she lost so much.

According to British news, Gaga lost weight from restricting her food sources to only vegetables and fish (eliminating all carbs). However, restriction became harsher as her fame grew. Later in her career, Gaga switched to the Goo Diet (more commonly known in Hollywood as the Baby Food Diet). However, it wasn't Gaga that wanted to shed the pounds. The driving force behind it all was and is Gaga's "people." Her producers attempted to cover her average size by draping fabrics over her behind and using softly focused lenses for the camera but, in the end, she was simply instructed to not eat.

Off-handingly, she mentioned always being hungry. Combining her strictly restricted diet with dance training, religious exercise, and fame pressure, Lady Gaga shrunk from 120 lbs to a svelte 95 lbs.
If you ask me, she is a great thinspiration--not only from her body image but, also from determined struggle (which we can all relate to).


Slimming down for skin and bones,
                                       ~Noi