I recently went to the grocery store here, somewhat treating myself...because of all the purging I was doing lately. Now, I was going to buy things under complete control (i.e. whatever I buy, it cannot be eaten past 200 calories). So I strolled around, taking forever like many EDs do, and, finally after picking up and putting back soooooo many temptation items, I decided on buying a few Larabars (safe item because it contains so few ingredients) and a Go Raw Banana Bread Flax Bar. Coarse, as I was standing in line I through in some Kombucha (which is really good at taking of the edge of craving any fizzy drink).
While I was waiting to pay, the oddest thing happened. The guy at the register looked over my items and blatantly asked, "Are you a Vegetarian?" Now, I'm not used to strangers quickly picking up my eating habits (despite the fact that I am actually a Vegan); so I asked him, "What gave me away?" He pointed directly at the flax seed bar and explained how he was, formerly, a Vegetarian for 3 years....but, then mentioned that he just used it to control his Anorexia.
I was baffled. This guy, whom I had just met, just honestly told me his dirty little secret. Now, not wanting him to feel embarrassed for coming out to a customer, I told him, "Don't feel too bad. I dabbled in Anorexia too. I initially became Vegan for all the right reasons, but now I do it for all the wrong reasons."
I know he could feel it at this point too, because just by showing ourselves practically naked to each other....there was a connection.
Unfortunately, the old woman behind me had no tolerance for waiting so, she rammed her cart into me (bitch) and I proceeded to leave.
I wish I got the guy's name, I would've like to be friends with him (especially since he was so young, although older than me...probably 23-24ish). Oh well, I hope I will see him the next time I go shopping.
Keep on the lookout for any fellow EDs,
~Noi
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