I Don't Need It

I have been pretty damn proud of myself as of late. Since restricting to only fruits and veg (mostly veg, it has less cals), I have been feeling a lot lighter. And I don't mean lighter as in lbs, since I didn't bring my scale with me, but I mean...I just don't feel that horrible sensation of being weighed down. Of coarse, I would have more so LOVED if I didn't have the lbs...but I know I'm getting closer to my goal everyday.

I...want to not have to eat. I wish I could just coast through on nothing but air. I hate myself so much, not during the actual eating but, in the aftermath. I cannot even describe how much more awful I feel when I go with people to the dining hall. It's like I can feel them staring at me, I mean, my god, I am eating a freaking salad  with maybe some red wine vinegar & olive oil combo or a mustard & pepper combo. What is the big deal?

Maybe I should just go back into excuse mode and skip eating all together, not just breakfast and dinner. I really hate that word: Breakfast. Why on earth would I want to Break Fasting?
Ugh, I think I'm gonna go choke down some lax, this salad feels awful inside me...

~Noi