I Hate Me

I fucking hate myself right now. I'm just so disgustingly fat and there's absolutely no way I'm gonna get to 120 lbs in a week. Ughhhhh........I'm just not going to eat anything, except dinner, from now on. No more binging or fucking wasting my money on binge food. Seriously, it's so retarded that I buy food just so I can throw it away. This has to stop. I'm running out of money and binging and purging is just making me hate myself even more.

But things aren't all so bad...

My workout regime is bringing results. I was studying a bruise on my leg early and realized, "Damn! My thighs are fucking toned!!!" This made me smile a bit, since I hate the squishy flab. Granted that all this muscle is making me bulk up a bit, I think if I counter it with starving, fasting, and restricting my caloric intake, I'll become just that much closer to Ana.

I figured out my BMR too. I was so happy to find myself in the 'Very Active' category (since I exercise everyday)
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The BMR for women:

655 + (9.6 x weight in kilos) + (1.8 x height in cm) - (4.7 x age in years)

You then take that result and multiply it by your activity level.

 Sedentary/ Little or no Exercise = 1.200

 Lightly Active/Exercise or Sports 1 – 3 times a week = 1.375

 Moderately Active/Exercise or Sports 3 – 5 times a week = 1.550

 Very Active/Exercise or Sports 5 – 7 times a week = 1.725

 Extra Active/2x a day training or Hard Physical Job = 1.900
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Basically, I need 2432.0775 calories everyday but, since we all know that that is waaaaaayyy too many, I'm gonna do a fraction of that with 600 calories. I think I'll stick to steamed veggies and soft fruit (like melon) from now on...

Think Thin,
          ~Noi